The Least Budget-Friendly Gifts

Going in a slightly different direction (okay, the complete opposite) from last week’s gift guide, I thought we’d take a look at the most outrageously expensive holiday gifts. Why? Because they’re OUTRAGEOUS.

expensive holiday gifts

Although I personally can’t afford most of these things, I like to imagine I’m in a Christmas episode of Gossip Girl and this is a combination of the Waldorf / Van Der Woodsen / Archibald / Bass gift list (yes, I have been re-watching every season on Netflix any chance I get…I told you my life was glamorous). So if your budget opened up this year or you’re like me and enjoy the little (or big) luxuries of life (this isn’t my first luxe gift rodeo), then you’re going to love this…

The best part about these Dolce & Gabbana headphones is that they’re actually on sale — from nearly $9k and now just a under $4500…it’s the most expensive steal you’ll find this holiday season 😉

Looks like Delfina Delettrez is getting in the fine jewelry business, which is clear by this $24k 18-karat gold and diamond bracelet (quite a few zeros up from my lip ring…but so fucking fabulous).

Some of the most expensive gifts I found were actually in the alcohol / bar department (no booze included). I can’t tell you why a sterling silver lighthouse cocktail shaker costs over $10k, but I can tell you one thing…you better not be putting any liquor in here that comes out of a plastic bottle. It might actually self destruct at such an idea.

Leave it to Net-a-Porter to come up with quite the list of extravagant gifts this year (AKA the fantasy gifts). If you ever wanted (or wanted to give the gift of) a personal shopping team for your vacation closet, an unlimited shopping spree with Sarah Rutson (the site’s VP of Buying / global style at Net-a-Porter) or bags and shoes for a year (20 pairs of shoes and 16 bags to be exact) then THIS is your moment. And as always when it comes to these things…it’s price upon request (or “contact us” in this specific case).

You know what your MacBook really needs this year? Not an external hard drive or even a deep cleaning (although mine begs to differ, considering I eat at mine several times a day) — it needs to be a 24-karat gold MacBook. And at only $10,000…you can make your MacBook’s dreams (and yours) come true!

Got just under $4k to spare? Give the gift of [really expensive] creativity — with a 3D printer! As a fancy-from-Neiman-Marcus added bonus, you’ll get an exclusive Judith Leiber butterfly template to print your own 3D butterflies. A real hit with all Mariah Carey fans.

Some people like to show their disposable income with a fancy watch or an expensive bag, but the status symbol of 2015 is the personal transporter (or what I like to call a stemless scooter or the damn-you-are-lazy-machine). If you’d rather scoot than walk to your next destination, it will only cost you $1800 (because what fun is a free form of transportation anyway?)

The most ironic of all expensive holiday gifts would be one made of real money…but to my disappointment, all one dollar bills. There better be #stacksonstacksonstacks for that $2500 price tag (but it’s art…and art never needs to explain itself!)

If you know a 3-24 month old who could really use a fur-lined cashmere poncho, then today is your lucky day (but, really…the kid’s lucky day). If this is what you’re wearing before you can walk or talk, can you imagine what you’ll be wearing on your first day of kindergarten?!

It’s an Hermes watch…need I say more?

Delfina Delettrez isn’t the only one getting into the super fine jewelry game…Monique Péan now added Atelier to her name and because of that, can charge over $116k for a necklace. Oh the power of diamonds (and Barneys).

We expect high price tags for diamonds, fur and watches…but what about cream? No one thinks “La Mer” and shouts “affordable!” (and if you do, you must use $100 bills to polish your gold bars) but if a jar of Crème de la Mer can cost as much as a designer bag ($2060 to be exact), I should never have to see see an imperfection on my face again and that jar should last me a lifetime (or at least until it expires…)

What I admire most about The Row is their ability to make such simple items yet charge some pretty insane prices (the quality is incredible so I get it…to an extent). Their alligator backpack is really the icing on the cake that is The Row realness. Let’s just say this is one gift that will never need a gift receipt, that’s for sure.

If $34k for a bag is way out of your price range, I have a much more affordable option for you — a Fendi shearling tote will satisfy your designer handbag cravings, and at a fraction of the cost (just $7,250!)

For those who think Crème de la Mer is simply juvenile, you can take your beauty game (or your gifting game) to the next level with the La Prairie Limited Edition Caviar Spectaculaire. If you think it sounds expensive, IT IS. $2200 will not only get you La Prairie’s Skin Caviar Luxe Cream but it’s even “nestled in an exquisite Baccarat crystal Caviar server.” Who knew a cream could be so pretentious?!

The most budget-friendly on the least-budget-friendly list today would be the Fendi Karlito iPhone 6 cover. Your iPhone can get an instant face lift for just $600…and look like Karl Lagerfeld!

Why smell good when you can smell really expensive? At least that’s how I hope you’d smell with Norell’s Baccarat Perfume Bottle. For $1500 I would expect to smell like I drive a car that’s only one of ten in the world (five would be even better). And if I don’t? I’d definitely ask for a refund.

I wasn’t messing with you when I said the alcohol category can be quite costly. For the mixologist in your life, there’s no better gift than the gift of a Ralph Lauren Vanderbilt Rosewood Mixologist Box…obviously. All your drinking needs are included — a croc-embossed leather mixology book, a crystal ice bucket, a custom Laguiole corkscrew (what is that even?) and so much more!

So now that we’re mentally broke, let’s just keep shopping…shall we?


Image via Fashion Gone Rogue

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